I love to run.
I love to just hop on the treadmill (or the Washington Duke Trail when I had that luxury) and just run as hard as I can for as long as I can til I can't breathe anymore. And then I run some more. Running is no stress. You aren't busy thinking about a million other things. It's just you and the pavement. I need my music though. If I don't have my music instead of thinking about the lyrics or the beat I'm busy focusing on how I'm quickly running out of the breath or all the homework/studying I have to do (which coincidently also makes me feel that I'm running out of breath)... Give me my good playlist of extreme gangsta rap (hey Nas) and silly songs with hype beats (shout out Soulja Boy) and I'm good to go for almost an hour or two.
This morning I was on the treadmill and just started thinking about everything in life. How I seem to have somehow fallen for someone that I can't let myself like, and how I can't seem to fully get with the program with someone that I love and I just started to cry*. Crying of course activated my nostrils and I couldn't breathe but my body just did not want to stop.. I had a goal of hitting 5k and my head just kinda went into auto-pilot. I thought to myself that if I could get my body on auto-pilot to run when I feel like I can't go any further I should be able to auto-pilot myself to keep it moving when I just emotionally feel like giving up.
*I was in the gym alone btw- no worries about looking crazy.
Title courtesy of Vivian Green "Emotional Rollercoaster"
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