Goodbye Cruel World...

I swear my life is one big snowball of fuckery.


Like it goes from a snowflake of unfortunate events to a full out effing ball of fuckery.

And it's only me I swear. It's only me. Like I must of been the black widow of friendships and relationships in a former life and karma is messing with this one (which if you ask me is unfair because I can't remember killing people)...


I'm taking a break from life.

Here comes trouble....

If you are who your friends are...




well in some ways I am MIGH-TY fucked.

And just like that... poof.

Sometimes you wake up one morning and just don't feel anything. anything at all.

no anger.
no hate.
no sadness.
no indifference.



a person just exist- and it's at that point that you can gladly say goodbye.



I'm not simply talking about relationships.

The thing about the truth is this...

don't ask questions you aren't prepared to handle the answers to.





somethings in life are quite simple if you let them be.

ring around the rosey...

how is that the ones that could do us the most harm are the ones that we stay closest too?

Promises are for people without lives...

I know.
I know.
I know.



I promised that I would catch yal up on things but the truth is that I've been a little distracted lately. My friends will tell you that I've straight checked out of a lot of their lives- not because I'm angry with them (well most of them) but because I've been spending time with another person and it's just taken up a majority of my free time. What can I say- it's the summer and I can't be  idle. So without further hold- I present to you June 2010.


Gotta friend. A summer friend. Well he's an all year friend but in this summer he became my "friend." It's great because it's a no pressure relationship. There is no sex, there are no mandates, we just do what we want. If we want to see each other on a day-we do. I we don't talk to each other in a 48 hour period- we don't. That's rare though, we probably see each other every day lol. But I don't mind that and apparently neither does he. Why can't all my relationships be like this?

Terence and I? FINITO. We hung out just once but as I promised myself- there would be no analyzing it- it is what it is- we are what we are. And what do you know, haven't thought about it, haven't mentioned it before now. Nada. He's gone, I'm occupied- and now the story begins.


Tis all- simplicity is life. and life is simplistic.

Opinions are like assholes- stay away from mine.

I have an opinion.

Sometimes I'm right (ok who are we kidding- usually I'm right)- sometimes I'm wrong (and will admit that)- and often my opinion has changed as I got older. When I was in high school I said I was never going to get into a serious relationship and that emotions were for suckers (well some things never change...) but as I got older and got into someone that I felt was a giant portion of my whole- I let my emotions just be. I said I would never learn to cook for man because I didn't need to- and now look- I've learned four new recipes the past few weeks because I'm with someone who makes cooking enjoyable.

I said all of these things- they were a part of my opinion- because of where I was at the time. That's not to say that everything will change but I recognize and accept that I've formed opinions about things that I have no clue about. And you know what that's ok.

What I do not accept is being challenge for my ideas in a way to belittle or insult me. There's a line between constructive criticism along with a productive dialogue starting and commenting with the intent to undermine. I do not apologize for my thoughts and I wouldn't expect anyone else to- we're all growing and learning as we experience life and getting to know the world and our place in it.

I'm beginning to see though that opinions are not to be shared with everyone... which is a shame because if we can't share opinions then where do we stand?

Maybe tomorrow....

Lots of thoughts going on.... should probably finish my thoughts with my previous blog, I'd love to talk about "lowering standards," and adding a catch up blog but for now I'll focus on....

I wonder how I'll ever maintain a good relationship if the ONLY person I trust in this world is myself. This isn't necessarily a problem because I maintain I'd rather spend my life alone than to be unhappy but I wonder where this notion plays into my relationships. I may not be vocal about my thoughts but I would be lying if I didn't say that at least silently I've always second guessed nice things that a guy has had to say to me... food for thought.

How does one say bloody hell in french?

Mexican Margarita: You have an understanding of types. You guys can just accept what makes you so frustrated about the other person and still hang out.

Little Miss Sunshine: The fact is that we're the worst communicators with each other on this planet and we both are avoiders so instead of actually dealing with the issue til it's gone we'd rather push it back til it rears it's ugly head again. it's sick.

And that ladies and gentlemen is the fact in a nutshell.... i'll expand on this tomorrow.