Abstinence... In a relationship

Celibacy has been the recent talk of the blogosphere from sbm to maxfab to threeways.  How does this ball of sunshine fit into this? I'm celibate with my current boyfriend.Yup- we never had "relations."


This started out as a little experiment of mine based on a magazine I read about a girl who tired of just giving it up wanted to go on a year long celibacy kick to see how it would affect her relationship. This certainly wasn't my first time doing it in a relationship but it was my first purposeful time. Let me explain....




With Andy- when we first got serious we were together in the same country. Although we had known each other for two years at that point- the "moment" never presented itself so sex never happened. Then I moved back to the states and every time we saw each other it was at one of parents house and thus- not happening. When we finally did the do it was nearly 4 years into knowing each other and over 2 years into our relationship. It not only felt right at that time but for our relationship- it was golden.


Whaaaaat? Again- let me explain.


I've had great boyfriends. Amazing boyfriends, amazing relationships. Out of the 2 major ones since '04 (when I became *ahem* active) the best one was the one that allowed us to build a foundation before we became active- you know why? Sex can be murder for a relationship. We withhold sex from our significant other when we're angry, we stay with someone that's not good for us because the sex is good, and try as we might- occasionally us women give in to biology and become dickmatized. What happens when you take something so powerful out of a relationship? You truly let your clear head reign free. 


Now don't get me wrong- i love sexual relations. The thoughts of getting dirty before breakfast, having a snack at lunch, and a bit of afternoon delight makes me all warm inside. But even a nymphomanic like me thinks that there is something sexy about kissing, and 3/4 of the bases of making their way. Takes you back to high school when everything was all forbidden. Most importantly though I find that waiting to have sex has made us take stock of each other without being blocked by mind thoughts.


I've done the FwB thang to HORRIBLE results... once the benefits kicked in the friendship kicked out. Now I'm focused on the friends, and it's amazing. I miss him because I miss who he is not who he is+ the mind blowing sex. Now will we get to the point where sex feels right to enter in? Who knows. But I'm loving the path we're on now.... pucker up