Tired of being Mrs. Wright Now....

There was a shift this week in me. I left behind the hard shell me and really just listened to what I was feeling- I'm kind of over being single.
"WHAAAT?"<---- I know. I know. One of my friends claimed that the sky was falling when I revealed this to her but let me explain...


I've been having inklings every once in a while for the past year (including an emo moment or four) to be with someone.... (strike one). I started pretty much dating a guy that I reconnected with... (strike two). In a joking manner I held hands with a guy friend this weekend  and then started continually nestling up against him... (strike three). I met a guy this weekend who I felt could actually go head to head with me AND then put me in my place and I haven't stopped thinking of him since.... (and yooooou're out).

Back when I was into Terence I kept saying that I would love to see where things went but I never expected us to date for real for real. 75% of the reason was because I knew we weren't compatible but the other 25% was because I just didn't feel the need to be someone. I'm not sure what it is though but ever since this weekend I've been wanting to just have someone to be committed to, hold hands with, spoon at night, roll up behind and wrap my arms around and place my head in the little crook at his neck. I used to think of this as being soft but maybe I'm maturing. **gasp**

What really had me thinking this way was the post today over at single black male- a husband (4 years in the game I believe) was talking about the difference between a husband and simply a  married man and what that required. I agreed with all he had to say (read the post I'm not repeating) and added that I want a man who can lead me in my house. I'm sure I've stated that before here but then I thought to myself- how close am I to that goal? How long can I be single and mingle before I become lonely and cat food?* I've said before that if I never married I'd be fine with that but that doesn't mean I never want to be married.

But alas baby steps.... I'm going to open myself to relationship potential- that's right I'm going to stop dating for the sake of dating (and a-hem a meal or two) and date to find a partner. Let's see how this goes though. Lately (aside from this weekend which I'm STILL upset about) I haven't found anyone that wants me and I want them. Oh well.... get hitched or die tryin?









*There would have to be no more animals in this world for me to own a cat. I HATE cats.