Unthinkable: girlfriend versus wife

I got a text message once from a guy I was interested in letting me know that he didn't see me as "girlfriend material." Won't lie- it hurt.... bad. But after the crying and the "Smoking Cigarettes" on repeat ended I was left with some thoughts.

I think that I'm girlfriend material. I actually thinking I'm good girlfriend material. Am I wife material? nope. I still have a lot of growing to do (professionally, mentally, and SURELY emotionally). But can I be there or my boyfriend to support him, uplift him, teach him, and listen to him? yes. Am I willing to learn from the lessons he gives and our relationship provides? yes. Can I be faithful and commit myself to a relationship that allows us both to grow? yes.

Those I think are the basics* behind a good relationship foundation. A foundation that when created and maintained and built upon in a strong relationship lead to a strong marriage. I can do these things. I do believe however that marriage adds a bit of practicality to things. Can you cook, clean, rear children? Can be responsible with money, bills, time? Ultimately can you fully submit to your partner (and the deep level of trust and respect that is enacted in that commitment)? In terms of my personal self? nope. In additionally to being a sure simpleton in the kitchen, I haven't learned the art of submitting to my man. One such example would be my adamant refusal at this point in time to take my husband's last name. A favorite of mine mentioned to me Monday night that she was excited to take her finacé's last name because in addition to it uniting them- it represented her move from her past to her future. From her father's house to her husband's house... and while I can't say that it changed my mind it certainly made me sit down and think about what giving up your maiden name truly means. But I'm still not there yet. I don't mean submitting as being subservient but moreso as the bible instructs in Ephesians 5:22, 24:

"Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands... for the husband is head of the wife... Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything."

Not the submission in the sense of master and slave but of a woman who recognizes the ability of her husband to lead but still be his partner. To work in the same direction and not in a self serving manner. I'm not there yet. I'm still feeling out who I am, where I fit in and I can't work towards the permanent building of a home if I can't find someone to share goals with. I certainly can't share goals til I pick them but I can work with someone to figure out what my goals are. And that ladies in gentleman is what makes me girlfriend material.

and you know what- for now- I'll take it.