I'm all for the interracial relationship. I welcome it if you do it. I welcome it if you don't feel it. I welcome it if you don't know where you stand. Would I like to be in a relationship with a fine black man with his head on straight? ya damn right. If it doesn't happen will I put off dating other races? ya damn wrong. It's a rough road out there no matter what shade you happen to be and much like clothes- if it doesn't fit you better find another size.
All that being said- one of my favorite blogs took up the issue today dealing with Jill Scott's expression of hurt over the blog and one of the commenters said this little piece which I feel like describes everything I've been YEARNING to say. Thanks Lovely Ladee!
To your question as to where we are now… We are where you have lead us to be. We are lost. The reason we don’t resemble the black women of generations before us is because your voice has become silent in our lives. Believe or not next to God your voice is one of the most powerful voices in our lives and because of your absences we have lost the directions necessary to stand beside you, to walk with you,to talk to you, to love you, to respect you and to be vulnerable with you. We have adapted to change because we had no choice. You were taken from us. The majority of you falling victim to the streets, violence, drugs and death. So we had to adapt. Generations and generations of the absence of you in our lives has landed us here. So we have had to put on our strong face and develop the character of not needing you. But truthfully we do…we always have and always will. You are the balance in our lives. In recent generations all we have witnessed is our mother push and be strong 24/7, 365 days of the year. Many of us have not had the pleasure of seeing our mothers exude the qualities of the black women in the Civil Rights era. We have not had the pleasure of seeing her be vulnerable with her man, to be supple, to kiss him, hold him close and tell him how much she misses him and needs him. We have not had the pleasure of seeing her be a successful woman in the street and a Domestic Goddess in the home. So I ask you how are we to even begin to need and want you and resemble the qualities that made black women so great in the Civil Rights era if we have never witnessed first hand the roles required to fill this position?
And yes I had to bring up the fact that Black men were taken from us because the truth is relationships and families begin with you! You are the head and therefore the leader.
I agree with you that we do not need to travel to know that just a short time ago you all were in jail or dead for looking at a white woman let alone dating one. However, I do not believe she was placing any type of responsibility on you young successful black men to only date black women nor belaboring over this topic. I believe she was just bringing understanding to the reaction of black women when they see a black man with a white woman. So, often our reactions have been labeled as hatred but the truth is that its a pain…a deep pain not hatred. So really there is nothing to be over because there was nothing to argue in the beginning. The article was just a woman bringing to light the reasoning behind most black woman’s reactions to such a situation.
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