a) exes are exes for a reason. when those reasons involve extreme asshole tendencies- i should frequently remind myself of so. Especially before accepting airport dinner dates
b) does weight affect dating? twas a topic of conversation today on titter and let me chime in quickly... being a plus sized lady myself (don't you hate that word? I prefer plumplie) I haven't heard to my face that a guy wont' date me because of my size (save for a friend of mine who pointed out in a random conversation that the largest girl he would date was a girl who turned out to be about 3/4 my size- not that he would be the top of my dating list anyyyway but still **ouch**). Am I certain that it's probably decreased some of the pull I've had- sure. Is it something that I'm aware of and working towards fixing- sadly yes. But not for guys. For my love of fashion that after my last "pound pile on" has escaped me a bit. I'm not one of these chicks that say- well my man is going to love me no matter what size i am- because I wouldn't love my boyfriend if he gained a large amount of weight and I wouldn't date someone who was much more larger than I (in less it was muscles). So since I've said before I don't ask for what I'm not- I guess I have to get down to what I'm asking for.
c) I'm shy. Now that does affect my dating and it often turns guys off. I get hit on a lot and usually in places that I'm not expecting and I get kinda nervous about answering and conversing (especially if he's cute)... I'm working on it because I don't want to seem off putting and snobby (which is how I'm sure it comes out).
d) I often put people into molds they cannot fill. I was telling my friend that sometimes he says things that I find to be hurtful and at times borderline cruel (see b) and yet he doesn't see them that way and I wonder if I just have too much hope for our friendship. Like deep down inside I've been hoping that he'll understand when somethings are out of line (at least by the time we approach our 10 year friendship) but then I wonder if I'm asking him to be something he's not. Maybe he's just not the kind of guy who is going to give a f!@& and I need to recognize that and decide if I can deal with that and we can be friends. It's truly not fair for me to put a burden on him to change who he is fundamentally. I need to learn that. Sigh I guess today is just a list of things I need to work on huh?
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