The List

Oh Oprah, how thee increases my knowledge of the world with your hour long informative segments! Most recently you brought in Steve Harvey to discuss his book "Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man" and although my friends (and exes) will argue that I already have this down pact I decided to watch anyway. Mr. Harvey mentioned that too often women compile this list of "wants" that includes things they do not have, such as the rather robust woman wanting a physically fit millionaire (who you plopped in the front row for the world to see). I have never actually sat down with a pen in hand to think about this so called "list" but now that Steve has set out some very rudimentary guidelines I'd like to explore this lil woo-ha. 

The Queen of Hearts presents her list fit for the King (in no order):

1. He must be attractive.

Little Miss Sunshine figures herself to be an attractive lady (straying away from the mistakes some women make by receiving confirmation of this fact) and thus requires that her Mr. be of equal or better standing.

2. He must be at a bare minimum college educated. Higher degrees receive extra points. 

LMS is currently toiling away on a Master's Degree with the intention on applying to Law School in the fall. LMS does not think that her Mr. would be able to identify/keep up with the conversation (or remembering the good 'ol college days) if the Mr. has a high school degree. We will leave Mama and Papa Sunshine out of this but I can just imagine their faces upon introduction. No bueno.

3. He must live an active lifestyle.

LMS is not a supermodel... she is your average american woman but she likes a good dose of exercise. She likes running (no more than 5 miles at a time please), dancing ballet, and playing tennis. A Mr. who is not interested in doing anything but eating twinkies and "lifting weights" will displease LMS and lead to a very unhappy divorce (with pre-nup please)!

4. He must be motivated.

LMS wants the world. LMS wants to see the world. LMS can do it by herself sure but she would like the Mr. to be able to do it right alongside her. That being said LMS is requesting that her perfectly suited partner is a man with a plan. Now he does not need to have means as LMS isn't not living the Lifestyles of the Rich of Famous but she has goals to do it real big and she needs a Mr. who both supports these goals and has his own. And no... having a rap album does not qualify as goals in the Kingdom of Hearts.

5.  He must be worldy.

Tied into #4, LMS wants a Mr. who knows about more than just what occurs in his backyard and his country. LMS needs a mate who not only knows what's going on in other parts of the world but also wants to see this places first hand. LMS loves to travel and eventually wants to live in London so her Mr. must also be down with the game plan.

6. He must be intelligent.

LMS understands that everyone who went college is not intelligent and cannot hold a proper conversation. While this may be great for some other ladies, LMS insists that her Mr. be well equipped to converse in many circles on many topics.

7. He must be adventurous. 

The nicer things in life make LMS happy... but so do camping, hiking, picnics, movies in the park, and bungee jumping. Dinner is fine but it need not be a regular occurrence. LMS wants someone who isn't afraid to think out of the box and isn't afraid to participate in the wacky things that LMS might suggest. Because trust, odd things do come to the mind of the Queen.

8. He must be into children.

LMS suspects that she is rather fertile and if she is not she is into the Yoruba ways of becoming that way. A Mr. who cannot see himself as the family man or even as a responsible human being for other human beings can drink bleach. 

9. He must be chocked full of humor.

LMS is weird. She accepts it. She is also very sarcastic. This too she is accepting of. The Perfect Mr. gets LMS odd and often off color humor and loves her even more because of it. 

10. He must be passionate.

LMS has a love for things: ballet, reading, time management games (don't judge!), spending time with her family, loving her friends.... the Mr. must also have a love for SOMETHING. It could really be anything but something that makes the Mr. happy. For when the Mr. is happy- LMS is happy as well.

11. He must be God Fearing.

Probably the most important of the list. He doesn't need to be catholic like LMS but a regular church going man with a healthy fear of what it means to break the covenant placed before God is tres importante. No God no go.  

12. He must want Little Miss Sunshine as much as Little Miss Sunshine wants him.

LMS has been in a relationship with guys who liked her more than she like them and in relationships with guys who she liked more than they liked her. Neither was a good look and so LMS prefers not to repeat.

13. He must have the appropriate emotional maturity.

LMS has spent some time recently around an individual who has no clue what it means to be an adult. This has made LMS a little less sunny as she cannot fathom someone who is out of college and still has the mindset of a 18 year old. To LMS this behavior is not okay in a friend and she certainly cannot tolerate it for a life partner. 

14. NSFW: His bedroom game must be to complete satisfaction.

Self explanatory. He need not be on the A+ game EVERY time but showing a B- average will get the Mr. a one way train out of the Kingdom.... The Queen of Hearts doesn't deal in the bousch-caca.

15. He must be a cook.

LMS has finally failed the Steve Harvey test. LMS would not get in to Le Cordon Bleu or even some sketchy television advertised cooking school. LMS is a royal eff-up in the kitchen but in order for her children not to starve it is important that the Mr. can at least cook up chicken nuggets and macaroni. It's for the kids... for the kids.

I'm not quite sure how people manage to make these list with a hundred qualifications because I'm sure that it takes time and lots of dating. Lots of dating that I haven't had the chance to do in these 22 years on earth. I'm sure the list will be refined and refinished as I explore the different men that life has to offer but as of now this is what I can think of...