Late Nights...

I remember in the summer of 2008 sitting around campus talking to a group of guys one and two classes behind me where the conversation had turned to women.... These guys were some of what I would say lil romeos around the quad and had been through their share of women so I decided that listening to this conversation would be worthwhile. Women on our campus where divided into three groups: the don't wants, the don't needs, and the gotta haves. Don't wants were characterized as unattractive women or the occasional too crazy to bang chick, the gotta haves were women that men fantasized about but nobody or very few of them had seemed to obtain and the don't needs were women who were called after hours to relieve some type of pleasure block. They weren't women who the guys considered "wifey" material. I was curious however besides the obvious "don't wants" what was it that made a woman fall into don't needs and gotta haves.

The difference between a don't need and a gotta have, as they simply broke it down, was that a don't need takes no effort to bring the pants down and chances are if she has no respect for herself to not even make you chase after it she's not the type of girl you need. A gotta have has that "Je ne sais quoi," that something that makes a guy want her and work hard for her with the potential of keeping her. She was a diamond amongst a stack of charcoal bricks and coal.

Most importantly to me however was where I stood... a "gotta have" they all responded resolutely. "You ooze sex" one youngin' noted "but you don't give it up... at least I haven't heard you have." All summer (and honestly to this day) it's something I remember verbatim because it made me wonder if this is how someone people see me is this how everybody sees me?

I'm going to go with no.

And how do I know this sans statistical analysis and voting poll? Well I figure it occurs when the guys in my life send me texts and bbms at 11pm wanting to know what exactly it is that I'm doing. A more naive ray of sunshine would of been glad for the attention from the object(s) of my affection but this lil orb of light and smiles knows better. Guys will text a girl during those hours because they are booty call hours. Doesn't matter if he has had a taste of the rainbow or not.... he considers you booty call material. A "don't need." I've been wondering what the best method is to getting out of this is and the only conclusion I've come up with is that you just need to drop those kind of people. For the single looking lady the best decision is to keep company with men who only gotta have you because everyone else just isn't worth it....

Title courtesy of Jamie's Elsewhere "Late Nights"