It Ain't None of Ya Friends Business: The Case for Keeping Shut

Picture it-Sicily 1922....

But really... remember when you were little, on the rug in the classroom and your teacher wanted to tell you about the perils of gossiping? How everyone sat in a circle and the teacher whispered something to Mike, who whispered something to Susie, who whispered to Akili, and by the time it got to Jack it sounded like something else? Well imagine that it's 17 years later and what you said to Laura was spoken to Ann who talk to Don who then told Sam... same result. Telephone is the funniest game in the world when you're a child and a potentially dangerous one when you're an adult.

It's for this reason that I am now a strong advocate of keeping your friends out of your relationship/potential dating dealings. Not to say that you can't use your friends to get at guy on their FB friends list (oh I've seen it done) but actually telling someone your thoughts on a situation can back fire in your face. I'll use a personal example- I relayed a story and my feelings on it to a friend. I put the situation at strength 3. She took at strength 5 and translated to another friend as such. This friend then took it from 5 to 7. So by the time the story got back the person the topic was about (and myself) it was on code 10. and Oh I mean code 10. Now realizing that it was at a code 10, neither me nor the topic of my conversation took to talking directly, instead we picked up the mythical "telephone" again and let stuff escalate.

I think if I had kept my mouth shut about the situation I wouldn't have the drama that I'm currently dealing with now. I think at most I would of had a level 4 and that's perfectly fine. My telephone situation isn't the only reason to keep your friends out of your business sometimes- but sometimes your girls are wrong. A lot of my friends call me for advice on situations but truth is I'm not always right. This is fine for those that always take advice with a grain of salt but the fact of the matter is very few people do. Especially if you're sitting in a hen situation (men do this too) where everybody is talking about the topic and building off of each other. You start off slightly ticked with your boo and then realize that when you lay down that night you're steaming. Nothing has changed but the word of your friends. Some are legit and see things for what they are, some have their own baggage their translating to you, and some... well some don't qualify as friends and just want to "hate" on you and your relationship.

Point blank period. You can't control what happens once something leaves your mouth. But you can control what you take in and what you put out. And sometimes- friends just don't need to be privy to that process.