The Rundown

As predicted- law school has engulfed my life. I don't mean my week days and a sunday afternoon like undergrad (or graduate school) I mean at this point in the semester (a WHOLE two weeks in)- I eat, drink, and sleep the law. I read cases, I read statutes/constitutions/treaties, I outline, brief cases, read more cases. I write oral arguments, construct legal memos, talk about the law, apply for jobs, pray to God. I mean everything I do is related to law.


Except for the gym. I carve two hours out of my day to pound the treadmill- listening to outrageous music (from La GaGa to Roscoe Dash and a hint of Cee-Lo) and just not think about anything to do with law. It's like I need that time to breathe (which is ironic considering that I struggle to keep a breath)- because I'm afraid that my little tight wrapped world will suddenly come undone. I guess that's what occurs when the anal go to law school but it doesn't make me feel better about myself. Now if I could just match my eating with my gym habits - I'll be working towards my new years resolution quiiiiite nicely.


Finally- love? love sucks. well maybe not sucks but it just doesn't exist here. I got kind of excited because a guy I was slightly interested in last semester seemed really interested in e too. We talked during break about hanging out this semester and sitting together in class (assigned seats so it's a major decision lol- but seriously)... I see him the night before our class together and he's like oh i'll catch you in class- we're still sitting together right? (right i thought).... roll into class and womp womp. He's sitting in between two other girls and basically freezes me out. Not sure what I did to him in my sleep but eh- I'm suppose to be focusing anyway right?

So that's it these days: reading, writing, and jobs.

bleh.

Let the music play...

Throughout our time together I've mentally dedicated so many songs to you.

Songs about liking you.
Songs about kissing you.
Songs about hating you.

Each moment had a song that I felt like was just for us.... then today a song played just as you messaged me. I turned it down so I could focus on you and how much I didn't want to focus on you. How I wanted you to just disappear because every single time you come back it's just another cut. It just plain hurts. It hurts and I'm reminded of every single time we looked or talked or touched and I just don't have the strength to deal. We parted ways I turned back up my music and Toni said to me what I've been dying to tell you all along....

I see a girl you took advantage of
You see a girl that you cannot forget
I see a man that I cannot forgive

The Musings of a Self-Absorbed 1L: Part One

1. When we were young orientation meant getting to know other people, playing those stupid "3 things about me games," and getting wasted (or was that just me?)... Now apparently this week-long orientation involves writing memos, case briefing, interviewing "clients," and a shit ton of reading. Law School... I hate you.

2. This also involves some type of business dress as we will take pictures that will be given to "prospective employers." Law outfits are stuffy (see Law & Order), I hate blazers, I will protest. Also it's 1,790 degrees outside, in the shade, under an air conditioner. -_-

3. I have no bed. I have no friggin bed. I'm sleeping on a pallet. I will not complain though because I have 800 channels on my television.

4. My 3L mentor is intent on making sure that I become a law school drop-out. More about her and her high levels of peer pressure later.


gute nacht menschen.

And just like that... poof.

Sometimes you wake up one morning and just don't feel anything. anything at all.

no anger.
no hate.
no sadness.
no indifference.



a person just exist- and it's at that point that you can gladly say goodbye.



I'm not simply talking about relationships.

Let's Be Honest...

Can't move past if you refuse to step aside.

the VERY last post on this subject...

This don't make no damn sense

and for that reason and that reason alone I'm outtie 5000.

Trust me.

Everyone says I tend to overreact... I wish they would just know that I KNOW when I'm right.

Something Like Amazing.

It's amazing how a little information can change a mind. a perspective. usher in a realization.

It's amazing what people will say when they think nobody is listening.

It's amazing. amazing.