The Musings of a Self-Absorbed 1L: Part Five

How to succeed in law school....


a) don't go. seriously... stop studying for the LSAT. Stop writing your essay. Just turn around and do something else. You wanna help people? Build fucking huts in Namibia. Want to make money? Become a porn star / socialite. This route is not the yellow brick road to anything.

b) if it's too late for (a), be certain to drop out before the tuition needs to be returned. That percentage drops quickly so you must move fast. Don't waste time trying to make a decision- that is what all the other people in law school will do. And they will not succeed.

c) ultimately you were foolish and didn't do (a). Then you refused to listen to me about (b)- or perhaps you just stumbled upon this in November... or second semester. Either way- (c) is for everyone. Use these precious three years to impress upon your classmates your usefulness as a womb, child rearer, chef, and housekeeper. When you have located a classmate who seems as though he (she) will be able to provide you with a lifestyle that meets your needs... hone in. Hone in homey and find a way to exchange rings. Of course if you are male you will have to overcome the stigma of the stay-at-home-dad but this is your full career now.... you will find a way.

I can't date you- you blog too much.

Blogging- it's the new forum for shit talking.

You can say anything you want on a page whether it be true or not and your readers will follow you for the ride. Of course it's more therapeutic if you tell the truth- but I'm talking about those his story, her story, and the truth type blogs.

Not all dating is upfront.You get to know each other- figure out where you fall on the "I like you scale"- and if both sides agree, well you move on from there. Those moments however when you're gauging each other and sending texts/bbms and calling each other you have to be careful with how strong you come on.

You really have to be careful when the object of your affection is a blogger. And a popular one.

You begin to worry that you aren't witty enough- and it will become a blog topic. Or that you talk too much- and it will become a blog topic. Or that something about you irks him/her the wrong way - and you become a blog topic. We won't even go into what occurs when you date and if you break up. Yeesh.

So I'm curious- people who write really successful blogs...do they not date their readers or do they not tell new people that they blog. Are we better off not knowing what inspirations we have in the cybersphere? Nothing sucks more than a 1,000 people commenting on a situation and that situation is named y-o-u.

in case you were curious....

Did you know you can be medicated for omniomania?

Do you know what omniomania is?

A shopping addiction.

----insert blank stare here----

someone suggested it to my mother. Lord help us all if I can't shop anymore.

The re-mix

Hello lovers...

I've taken a hiatus. I've been wrapped up in warmness and before the big boot of life kicks me in the face I've been wanting to enjoy it. But who am I kidding? Life has been take-no-prisoners with me for a while... those warm moments are just brief periods of escape. What am I talking about you say? Let me expound:

* I've agreed to be half a whole. I'm enjoying it for now but the long-distance thing hasn't worked in the past and I'm inclined to say that throwing law school in the mix is making for a bad taste in my mouth... but hey. one day at a time right?

* Also- completely rando but I've come to discover that I don't mind changing my name- if it's one that's equally pretty or prettier than my current one. A. Carrington? Why don't mind if I do.

*Completely rando as well- I made lobster mac and cheese on Sunday. Hats off to myself. I'm in wifey training and I'm rockin.

*Celibacy requires one to be fun and creative.

*This blog might start shifting into law school. Don't be afraid... explore with me. Or be scared shitless with me. That's probably a better adjective.

* my life is devoted to packing and painting. and running. so yes. running, packing, painting. and looking at furniture.

* i flushed my phone down the toilet. Yup. it was in my pants pocket. I stood up it fell in. I reached for it- and **bam** holler at an automatic flush. I nearly had my grasp on it when one final flush took it away. And what did I get for my troubles? A wet suit jacket arm and the back cover of said phone.

*my computer died. yup. dead. so essentially it's only possible to contact me from the hours of 9-6 via e-mail or g-chat. horrrrrrray..... my life sucks.

So anyway. I've caught you up. welcome.

Just the little things....

It's been a rough weekend.

I've had to dole out condolences to buddy J-Full, my own mother is in the hospital, and I'm working through a 48 hour exam.

It's times like this that I see the purpose behind having a boyfriend to just kiss my forehead.

just call me ebenezer...

bah.fucking.humbug.

In case the memo was missed I'm not at all in a good mood right now. Not angry more like morose. Yes morose. I should of been born a robot because this being human shit is for the cot damn birds.

Re*al*i*za*tion: the instance or result of realizing.

I have a habit of giving great advice. I'm logical with a spoonful of emotion and I love to take things from all sides when making my decisions and thus giving my fantastic advice. I also have a habit of not listening to this exact same instinct that guides that advice. Ignore the little voice screaming warnings and the tap on my shoulder for Little Miss You Should Know Better (madre to Little Miss Ut-Oh).

Unfortunately I've done it again. I've ignored the glaring obvious and tried to pin my thoughts on our little friend Hope. I knew the truth (well I guess it's what I expect is the truth) and I sat around and convinced myself that he was shy or that something about me/us is just difficult for him to deal with (not that I ever make things easy)... today I told 2 of my best friends that I've come to the decision to just drop it because I keep thinking about it. And of course that's what I go to bed thinking of. So I wake up in a rush this morning having had this horrible dream in which I woke up with the sudden realization that I wasn't doing anything more than spoon feeding myself a wish.

I kept thinking that perhaps as his age grew so did some semblance of maturity but then I realized the advice I'd give anybody else.... he showed who he was back then and as Coolio once said- "ain't a damn thing changed but only the year."